Over a period of nine months I have lost a total of 103 lbs. This is about 47 kilograms. An insane amount of weight. How I lost the weight is not important. At least it isn’t for this blog. What I want to talk about is what it means to me to literally be a whole person lighter and how it has affected my life.
To start off on a light note, now that I have lost all the weight, I really notice how shitty society is. I think losing a big amount of weight is admirable, it’s not easy, so the compliments on my weight loss are very welcome and I take pride in what I’ve accomplished. Now the thing that I have a hard time with is accepting compliments on the way I look. First of all, I know everybody means well, but there’s something about a “OH MY GOSH YOU LOOK SO GOOD!” that gets to me when it comes from someone who has never given me a second look when I was still 50 or 100 lbs heavier. It tells me a lot about this person. I am a nice person though and I want to believe it comes from a good place so usually just smile and say thank you, but it doesn’t affect me in any way. I much rather hear it from people who have told me I looked good even at a higher weight. And why is it that people don’t ask me about how I feel? My health? My mental state?
I am not big on working out and I never will be. I try to work out as much as I can, but usually I just don’t. But being 100 lbs lighter automatically improves your energy level. There’s 100 lbs less to carry around with me so just walking around the house, up the stairs, in the grocery store, around the city or wherever is so much easier. This also means things like going out are more fun, because I can stand for hours at a concert without pain in my lower back or feet. I can dance all night long without being physically exhausted. Maybe a little, but that’s from old age.
There’s some random changes I have noticed.
- I can cross my legs, which is strange because it never looks comfortable to me, but I sit like that all the time now because it is so comfortable
- I can sit in chairs without being afraid it’s going to break (not that this ever happened, but I always had to think twice)
- I could probably ride a rollercoaster
- I can walk in heels without feeling like my ankles are going to break
Better travel experience
I travel a lot and I’ve always had a wonderful quality of life but I’ve noticed that traveling is just more fun when you don’t have to think about walking distances and you are more mobile and you can do more activities without worrying whether or not you’ll be able to keep up. I have more energy, did things I’ve never done before and it is just an overall even better experience.
Food is no longer everything
Okay, that’s not really true. Chipotle is still my life. Chocolate is still my BFF. But what I mean is that before I lost weight, I was always occupied with food. I’ve done every diet in the book. Everything. I’ve been obsessed with counting calories, reading labels, watching videos about weight loss, reading blogs about diets, weighing all my food, tracking my intake and weight for 20+ years! Do you know how incredibly detrimental this is to your mental health? This obsession that people have with what’s bad for you and what’s good for you? I am so happy that I can finally just relax. I have no counted a single calorie these past nine months. I haven’t weighed my food, I don’t track what I eat and drink. The only thing I do is prioritize protein in my meals and try to watch my liquid intake, and that’s it. I eat everything I want, in smaller portions. I don’t cut anything out. It seriously has given my life back!
But still, the most important thing I’ve learned is that this weight loss journey has NOTHING to do with what I look like now, or what I looked like then. You can and should love yourself at every weight.